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Funnies
05-17-2011, 03:53 PM (This post was last modified: 05-17-2011 03:54 PM by burmawybita.)
Post: #11
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"

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05-24-2011, 11:21 AM
Post: #12
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

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06-07-2011, 11:31 AM
Post: #13
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.

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06-08-2011, 12:46 PM
Post: #14
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?Undecided

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06-10-2011, 02:59 PM
Post: #15
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."
Insurance claim!

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06-15-2011, 01:14 PM
Post: #16
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
◦Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
◦Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
◦Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
◦Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
◦Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
◦Witness: "'Winchester'

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06-16-2011, 05:34 PM
Post: #17
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you oftenUndecided.

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06-17-2011, 02:21 PM
Post: #18
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
◦Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
◦Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."

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06-20-2011, 03:27 PM
Post: #19
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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06-22-2011, 11:30 AM
Post: #20
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

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