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06-22-2011, 11:40 AM
Post: #21
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
Recent advertisement on the internet under motor cycles for sale: 'Never been ridden. Reason for sale: 'I must have misunderstood what my wife meant when she said "Do what the f... you like"

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06-23-2011, 02:05 PM
Post: #22
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s so sad when you see them wearing dark glasses, with streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers and you realise they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.Sad

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06-27-2011, 11:20 AM
Post: #23
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
◦Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
◦Witness: "She is my daughter."
◦Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"

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06-28-2011, 11:13 AM
Post: #24
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

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06-29-2011, 10:25 AM
Post: #25
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
It's Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat.Noticing the seat next to him is empty,he leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Cup Final and not use it?" The neighbour says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral

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07-05-2011, 02:02 PM
Post: #26
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog onto
the the operating table, looks down and says "Say ahhhhhhhhhhh!"
The man looks at the vet and says "The dog can't speak".
The vet says to the man "I was talking to YOU. The dog's dead!!!

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07-06-2011, 10:34 AM
Post: #27
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

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07-06-2011, 03:41 PM
Post: #28
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'What would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'

I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please'

She replied, 'You're having soup you fat slob, I was talking to the cat!'Huh

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07-07-2011, 10:00 AM
Post: #29
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
I have a new hobby - stealing sweets from newsagents - I've got a couple of twix up my sleeve! Big Grin

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07-08-2011, 12:34 PM
Post: #30
RE: Coffee Break Laughs
A friend of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....Undecided

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