Out of office auto responses

[burmawybita]

Best "Out of office" Auto response emails -

I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first 10 words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.


Thank you for your message, which has been added to a querying system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.