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Official Bollocks
03-31-2011, 10:24 PM (This post was last modified: 04-01-2011 12:25 PM by burmawybita.)
Post: #1
Official Bollocks
As Janet Street Porter said in a recent article ' there is a new language in Britain which most sensible people find totally incomprehensible. It's called Official Bollocks. It got out of control under Tony Blair. Under New Labour a spade was never a spade, a worker never a worker. We all became 'stakeholders'. Dates became 'delivery options'. Left over stuff from a project became a legacy. The NHS, Police, Government, Local Councils and the BBC all signed up to Official Bollocks, and now its got so bad that it has put lives in danger and probably actually cost lives. The 7/7 enquiry noted last week that the fire service calls a mobile control room a 'conference demountable unit'. Surprise, surprise - on 7/7 the other emergency units didn't know what this was ( I doubt if the majority of firemen knew also) causing serious confusion. How the f... would any reasonable person know what it was? No doubt that lives were put in danger by the serious delays this caused and quite probably lives were lost. 'Official Bollocks' has created an 'us and them' society. If you don't speak the lingo you don't know what's going on. Let's hope the cretinous moron who first thought up this description of a control room is hunted down, sacked from his or her job, has their pension taken away and their house bulldozed to the ground. How many other useless over paid jobsworths sit around all day doing absolutely bloody nothing except thinking up stupid protocols, stupid 'elf and safety rituals, mountains of risk assessment forms to be filled in and more and more official bollocks. Roll on the revolution I say - trouble is we haven't got enough bullets for them all. This one stupid, moronic description, thought up by a total tosser probably actually cost lives. Talk about unintended cosequences -I feel a freedom of information request coming on here to find out who it was and then do them for manslaughter.

Just Dickin'Tongue
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04-01-2011, 12:49 PM
Post: #2
RE: Official Bollocks
Surprisingly more people speak "official bollocks" in Wales than speak Welsh. This is as a result of public services being the largest employers in Wales and that will increase as entrepreneurs dieout under the weight of "official bollocks" delivered in two languages by overstressed postmen. I believe that in all larger organisations there must be a PC Bollocks often teamed up with his sister Ms. Elthan Safety - they head up cabals of PC practitioners (degree course nowadays) to dickabout ordinary folks just trying to get on with making a living. Burmawybita has made a good point above, reflecting on lives lost as a result of Ms. Elthan Safety interferring with the rescue of many individuals, left to die in 3ft of water and underground tunnels by timid Hi Viz so called emergency services completing 24 page risk assesments.
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04-01-2011, 01:33 PM (This post was last modified: 04-01-2011 01:34 PM by burmawybita.)
Post: #3
RE: Official Bollocks
Couldn't have put it better myself sir - I take it you're a sir? and PC Bollocks - that's Police Constable Bollocks of course - will be looking over our shoulders for ever unless we all stand up and do something about it. And of course he will always be accompanied by his wife Ms Elthan Safety. What a pair!! And what a wonderful marriage this was that Tony Blair and his cohorts arranged. And they are of course breeding like rabbits in the cosy world they inhabit being encouraged at every step by otherwise unemployable jobsworths, who when they're not off sick with stress, spend their days dreaming up new ways of dicking us all about!

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04-01-2011, 07:04 PM (This post was last modified: 07-18-2012 06:17 AM by burmawybita.)
Post: #4
RE: Official Bollocks
Well there we are then, Police Constable Bollocks has a twin brother with the same intials so that the family cutlery and credit cards can be shared - he is called Politically Correct Bollocks and is the younger of the two by 2 minutes
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04-02-2011, 03:31 PM
Post: #5
RE: Official Bollocks
Detectives are continuing to question an 18-year-old man over the stabbing of a girl near her school gates.They are able to do this only because parents, friends and teachers caught and held onto the man in spite of having no risk assesment, no stab proof vests, Hi Viz jackets or a handy 'conference demountable unit'. Clearly those individuals deserve my dickemabout prize for the week as the police will no doubt find reason to claim they were dicked about at a crime scene when evidence gathering i.e. they had no need to deploy teams of white boiler suited civilians to blame when the evidence is lost or contaminated as the group had done all the work while they were still operating hand help speed camera's up the road from the school!!
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04-07-2011, 06:32 PM
Post: #6
RE: Official Bollocks
PC Bollocks sister Elthan Safety clearly involved in this action...........Sunderland are being sued by a fan who was injured while watching the team train, the chairman has revealed.

Niall Quinn was responding to a question during a BBC Radio Newcastle phone-in about whether fans were still allowed to watch training sessions.

He said that legal action was ongoing after the supporter was knocked out by a stray shot.

The Premier League club has declined to release further details about the incident.

Niall Quinn said: "We had a supporter who got a bad injury,

"I think it was one of Djibril Cisse's misses where he had a shot from 20 yards.

"I'm making fun of it now, but it knocked a supporter out. It was quite serious.

"That supporter is in the process of suing us right now."
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04-10-2011, 09:58 PM (This post was last modified: 07-18-2012 06:19 AM by burmawybita.)
Post: #7
RE: Official Bollocks
Official Bollocks still reigns supreme - did you see the report about a PhD researcher left for 2 hours before the Emergency Ambulance Crew could get police back up to enter the block of flats where she lived - the Health Authority have agreed to pay the vast cost of her ongoing care as a result of PC Bollocks intervention - shame on them and on the Para Medics who enjoy the status of Blue Light worship by a gulible public - stuff health and safety, do what you are paid to do - take a few risks instead of leaving a proper person in a vegetative state becaue you had no balls butr like a green uniform and jumping traffic lights!!
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04-12-2011, 03:01 PM
Post: #8
RE: Official Bollocks
Recent experience of someone sick of the insidious way this PC bollocks worms its way into everyday lives!

Not long ago, I was talking at work (after hours) with a co-worker's husband. We were speaking about his father's Danish ancestry and the fact that he still has a slight accent. My assistant manager asked us to "take the conversation outside" which we did, assuming that we were causing a distraction in the office.

When we came back inside later, however, we were informed that since there was a gentleman from South America in the office who "had an accent" as she so astutely noticed, that using the word "accent" in a sentence could be "taken offensive" (her words) and was highly inappropriate in the workplace.

I don't even know where to begin listing the problems with this kind of thinking. First, having to take this kind of criticism of my language from someone who can't even properly conjugate an adverb is just mind blowing. Secondly, the sheer audacity that she displayed in presuming to know what does or does not offend any person who is not a native English speaker shows that she thinks of him as no more intelligent than an animal. A grown, multilingual man is certainly capable of hearing the word "accent" without taking offense.

I doubt that she even understands the PC principles that she is espousing. The situation just rang some kind of ill-formed Pavlovian bell in her mind. I refuse to alter my speech or behavior around any person of any ethnic or socioeconomic background. To me, changing the way I behave or speak based on the skin color or the race of anyone who might be listening is completely bigoted and worse, it is downright cowardice.

We are not white, brown, native or foreign. We are people. That Latino man was only a man to me. I refuse to treat him as anything other than a man. If that makes me offensive, then so be it.Angry

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04-13-2011, 05:34 PM
Post: #9
RE: Official Bollocks
PC Bollocks and sister Elthan Safety were at work on opposite sides in North Wales last weekend....................English signs disappear at children's Moel Tryfan race


Moel Tryfan is smaller than its higher and more famous namesake, Tryfan
Police are investigating claims that English language way markers for a children's mountain race in Snowdonia went missing.

Organiser Mike Blake said the local suggestion was they were removed at Moel Tryfan at Fron, near Caernarfon, because they were not also in Welsh.

He put the signs on a stretch of the 0.75 km (0.4m) route because of poor visibility in one section.

Nineteen children competed in the junior section of the competition.

They ran shortly after the adult race began, and organisers became aware of a problem only after a delay in the return of the first junior runners.

It then became apparent that the signs to help them find their way had been removed.

Other signs in the village relating to last Tuesday's race had also been removed, it is claimed.

Mr Blake said: "I marked the mountain in advance of the race.

"There's a 150 yard bleak part on the three-quarters of a kilometre route. Visibility was bad so I placed markers and signs along the route."

A North Wales Police spokesperson confirmed the matter had been reported to them and an investigation was under way................. heads should roll. 17 young lives put at risk by Welsh Language Cretins - bit like the failure to publish adverts about Mouth Cancer Month in Wales as there was no money to translate them into Welsh - 260 lives at risk.

Why was there no protest about the lack of bi-lingual census forms yes there were Welsh version but the regulations require back to back printing and that was not the case.
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04-13-2011, 05:45 PM
Post: #10
RE: Official Bollocks
Someone, someday is going to die as a result of the Welsh Language morons!

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